Today, I came home from school and felt really sick. I didn’t want to do anything except sleep, and
I nap sounded like a great idea. But I
knew I had other things to get done this afternoon, so I chose to go back to
school and finish lesson plans for the next day. I still didn’t feel well, and I was really looking
for someone to hang out with, but there was no one around. It wasn’t a good way to end a long day of
school, and emotionally, I was pretty down.
After I finished my lesson plans, I went to the chapel and
began practicing the drum set. I’ve been
learning the drum set since I’ve been here, even giving one student drum
lessons, but I would definitely not consider myself an adequate drummer. Drumming is frustrating, because it’s an
instrument that I am not good at, and not being good at an instrument is a very
humbling experience for me. I knew we
had worship practice later that evening, though, so reluctantly, I went to practice
the songs for rehearsal.
A few weeks ago, I was selected as the drummer for the
service trip worship band. At the end of
the month, fourteen students, four other teachers and I are traveling to a different
island to lead worship, build a house, and teach English. I’m not sure if the teacher leading the trip
knows that I can’t really play drums (last rehearsal, I needed to look up a
drum beat on my phone for how to play one of the songs!), but it has given me a
reason to continue working on this difficult instrument. So I went to the chapel to practice. A few minutes later, one of my students, a
much more accomplished drummer than I, came to give me some pointers. “I should be teaching him,” I thought, “why
can’t I be the teacher and musician that I want to be on this instrument?” It was humbling, and I became more frustrated
than I started the evening. Slowly, all
of the students arrived, though, and we started the rehearsal.
Our songs for the service trip are both in English and the
local language, so I really enjoyed learning some common worship songs in a
different language. I embarrassed myself
quite a few times with some terrible drum sounds and dropped beats, but overall,
my playing was better than last week, so I was happy…ok, happy-ish. But quickly, we were through all of the
songs, and it was time to go home.
After the other teacher went home, I had the opportunity to
hang out with the students for a while.
We talked about their upcoming exams, their former teachers, and their
current state of stress, and it was a really enjoyable time. Each of these students is so special, and it
is a joy to see into their lives and their hearts more each day that I am
here. God is doing a special work in
this school and these students, and I am so thankful for the opportunity to be
a small part of that work.
As I came back to my apartment, it was around 7:30pm. I hadn’t had dinner yet; I was still not
feeling well (my pounding headache made worse by playing drums for the last two
hours!), and I knew I still had some work to do before going to sleep. But God showed me a lesson through the events
of this evening.
Sometimes, ministry can be really messy. It can ask all of you when you aren’t able to
give all you have. It can stretch you
outside your physical or mental limitations.
It can ask you to humble yourself, take a risk, and learn from one of
your students. It can ask you to put
aside sleep, food, or social plans, for something that may seem less important
at the time, like one worship rehearsal four weeks away from the event. But through each one of those sacrifices, of
dying to yourself each minute, you grow closer to the heart of Jesus. And through that transformation, you can
better portray Jesus to the people in your care. And sometimes, God blesses those sacrifices
by offering special conversations, or unique opportunities, that fill you more
than a nap or a good meal ever could.
As I’m writing this, I’m still exhausted. I did get food, but much later than my
stomach would have liked. My headache
continues to pound, and my thoughts are not very coherent (sorry if this isn’t
the best blog I’ve ever written!).
But my heart is full. Full of
love for my students, full of gratitude for His calling on my life, and full of
peace, even about my poor drumming skills.
And as we continue to offer everything we have in pursuit of His Kingdom
work, I am so thankful that He can turn the messy situations of our lives into
a beautiful picture of His love in the world.
Tonight, I was swept away by the power and love of Our Creator, and I
hope you experience the same thing in your ministries every day.
I am so thankful that I serve a God who calls us to give so
much of ourselves to follow Him. The
rewards are so much greater than we could ever imagine.
Luke Forshey
March 2, 2016
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